The Truth Hurts

Bullshit

When you give your all to something or someone and it’s thrown away like it never mattered it really hurts.  I gave my all to place I called my career for the past 5+ years and when they let you go with not as much as a simple “Thank you” it is completely wrong!  I worked for a very reputable organization in a dying industry.  I did all I could to help it evolve and change with the environment of today.  I thought I was someone who was indespensible.  Was I wrong or what?  The thing is that I know even if I stayed around the future was grim but you never really feel the pain of that until you are on the outside looking in.  Maybe I fooled myself into the belief that I could play an integral role in a place ruled by politics and favoritism.  Sure, I made my mistakes and did my best to learn from them, but every time I thought I turned a corner I was pushed back down the ladder.  I think of all the things I did over there and how much passion I had for it even through the bleak times.  I think of the lack of faith those above me had in me and how little I truly figured in to their plans.  The status quo of the small bubble in which they existed was safe.  I’m on the outside looking in now and have no control over what is said about me.  Already I am being painted as something I was not.  Someone who didn’t matter.  How could I be treated like this?  It’s absolute bullshit!  So many people in the same spot as me didn’t even care about what they were doing, yet got to stick around and be secure for a little while longer.  Sadly enough, some of them will be on the way out next and I can only hope that they are prepared for it.  It’s funny too how those who were so close with you just shut you out and forget about you.  I think of the people I befriended that didn’t bother as much to give me a call or help when they said they would.  I never asked anyone to take pity on me, just show me a little respect and courtesy.  I know I am better off without being trapped in a bottomless pit to nowhere.  The complacency in those who are left is evident.  They want to hold on just long enough to get motivated to move on or retire.  I’m pissed.  It fucking hurts hard.  I always pride myself on forgiveness and no regrets but I am left here pondering those very principles.  I will not forgive those who made the decision to let me go.  If they cannot see the error of their ways then they are too blind and ignorant to deserve anything positive.  They make decisions for their own good and not for the good of all.  That is wrong.  Good people do not do that.  I do not wish anything positive to happen to those who made that decision either.  I know business is business but not when that business is conducted improperly.  I also have come to regret some things.  I should have went away to college where I really wanted to go and I should have developed and pursued a passion for which I was truly in tune with.  I am also done with a certain rumor-spreading, big-mouthed, self-esteem deficient not so little she-devil who likes to meddle in people’s lives.  It’s time to move on and move up.  I’m leaving on a jet plane.  I don’t know if I’ll be back again…